From A Parent Handbook for Talking with College Students About Alcohol

In this chapter, we discuss general issues about communicating effectively with your son or daughter. In all communication processes there are two important aspects: the style in which the material is presented and the content of the material. You may find that some parts of the chapter apply more to you than other parts.

Beginning A Dialogue

The first step in effectively talking with your student is simply getting the talking started. Such conversations will not necessarily occur in a single sitting, but often will evolve over multiple times. As a parent you must take active steps to establish the dialogue that is so important to both you and your student. When the time is right, you will want to suggest to your student that you would like to talk with her or him. Don’t expect your student to agree. In fact, many students will respond with a negative reaction.

Here are some common negative reactions that students have when parents try to open a dialogue about sensitive topics and a few ways other parents find useful in dealing with them:

Additional Considerations

There are other objections that you might get, although these are the major ones. Sometimes you will hear more than one of them from your son or daughter. The central themes in your response should be that of caring about the student, wanting to understand the student, and wanting to help the student, while at the same time respecting the student’s privacy and desire to be independent. The example parental responses we gave illustrated these themes. They may not work well for your particular son or daughter and you may need to adapt them to his or her particular personality. But if you have open communication channels, you are more likely to help your student. Most of all, be constructive in your responses, not defensive or angry.

A Parent Handbook for Talking with College Students About Alcohol
By Rob Turrisi, Ph.D.
Prevention Research Center, The Pennsylvania State University
© 2010 CO Productions Ltd. All rights reserved.
Note: No part of this text can be used or reproduced without written permission from the author.