Author discusses anorexia, value of strong self-image

For many of her readers, Kathryn Bertine’s memoir is nothing short of inspirational.

For Bertine, Class of 1997, it was a form of catharsis.

Bertine’s memoir, All the Sundays Yet to Come: A Skater’s Journey, is an account of  a skating career that flourished during her childhood and at Colgate, but degenerated after graduation into a battle with anorexia while she was on a professional skating tour in South America.

Despite the book’s title, Bertine’s message transcends the skating-savvy crowd: her book speaks more widely to athletes in general, and anyone who has ever had a dream they refused to relinquish.

On Friday afternoon, Bertine spoke about eating disorders and their prevalence on some campuses at an event packed with students, faculty, and administrators sponsored by the Colgate Center for Women’s Studies.  The Colgate Bookstore also hosted a book-signing and reception for Bertine on Saturday afternoon, part of a book tour that has already taken her to Yale and Hamilton College.

Bertine’s visit to Colgate was held in conjunction with a series of weekend events related to the university’s women’s studies program.

Bertine began skating professionally at age 11 in Bronxville, N.Y., determined to join the Ice Capades in a matter of years.  She was accepted when she was 17, but the program urged her to attend college.

Bertine matriculated to Colgate, where she had been recruited as a runner.  She ended up quitting the team, and started rowing instead.  But the 5 a.m. practices couldn’t keep Bertine away from Starr Rink; she would perform between periods at the men’s hockey games.

‘Colgate was so instrumental in everything: my writing, my skating career, my athleticism.  I felt like I was thriving athletically and mentally here.  Skating at the games furthered my goal of improving as a skater,’ she said.

Two days before Bertine was to join the Ice Capades, the company went bankrupt. So, in 1996 ‘ during her senior year ‘ Bertine auditioned for Disney on Ice.  She was accepted, and was asked to weigh-in, something she never had to do before, and something she was never concerned with.  She received a letter from the program saying the director didn’t ‘like the number on the scale, ‘ and that tour officials felt she was too heavy.

Bertine’s years with the professional tour were difficult and, at one point, life threatening.  She said she was forced to whittle her weight down to fit the director’s skewed notion of beauty, and lost the muscles and athletic prowess she had worked so hard for.  She had never struggled with body image before; she was now consumed by it.

Weigh-ins were on Sundays, which used to be reserved for advanced competitions.  Instead, Sundays became ‘the day when your value as a person was assessed.  You’re not an athlete, you’re a show girl.’

Bertine realized that anorexia could kill her.  She quit the touring group and returned to the United States.  She spent more than two years in outpatient therapy recovering from the physical and mental damages of anorexia.  She received her master’s degree from the University of Arizona at the same time.

But she doesn’t shudder at her past.  Bertine, now a skating coach, looks back on her career with pride.  And she said the impetus behind her book was to relay a story that resonates with the many athletes who might not be Olympians, but who are dedicated to their sport and refuse to give up.

At the brown bag lunch Friday, students expressed concern about body image and perceptions at Colgate. Many women, they said, felt pressured to lose weight and fit into a mold constructed by the media and popular fashion magazines.

Bertine relayed ways to help those who might be struggling with body image.  Comments such as ‘you look great,’ might have a negative impact on someone who is secretly taking drastic measures to lose weight.  Bertine suggests approaching the person more objectively, saying: ‘I’ve noticed you’ve lost weight.’  Showing one’s concern, Bertine says, is important.

 She also said it is crucial for young women to buck stereotypes of the ideal female form.